Ushaw Discernment Retreat Weekend
This article on the Ushaw Discernment Retreat Weekend of 1-3 Feb 2008 has been kindly written by Anthony Britton who attended the Ushaw Discernment Weekend
Silence and Solitude
Sunbathing: not the first thing that would come to mind when you take a look outside at this time of year, and yet that’s really what the weekend at Ushaw was about. Taking off the heavy clothing (our busy lives full of hustle and bustle) and going into the garden to lounge and soak up the rays of the sun (in this case to absorb ourselves in prayer and the glory of the ‘Son’; Jesus).
In the Gospel of Luke (10:38-42) we read the story of Mary and Martha. Often we get carried away with distractions and worries about life, sometimes even in working in our parishes and forget to take time to be like Mary; to sit in adoration and quiet stillness listening to what Jesus has to say. This was made much easier in the confines of the college. With the phone turned off and no [unnecessary] speaking it made listening so much easier. Prayer, Mass, more prayer and exposition - the perfect formula for spending time with God.
How many people in our lives do we ever just speak to? Do we go round our neighbours’ house, sit on their sofa, speak at them whilst eating and drinking and then leave without giving them a chance to speak? And yet, so often we forget to allow time for God to speak into our lives; we go to church and speak to Him and then leave. To further a relationship with God really requires a very similar formula to that of our relationship with other people: spending time in His presence, listening as well as speaking.
It is easy to do what we think needs doing, say morning and evening prayer, go to Mass, lead a good Christian life, help the elderly, encourage the youth and all those things expected by other people. But what’s with all the ‘doing’? God doesn’t call us just to do things, he calls us into a relationship with Him. He calls us to ‘be’ who we are. After all we are human ‘beings’ not human ‘doings’.
Sometimes we try so hard to find and work out God’s plans for us and try to make it happen ourselves; yet it is often when we are doing other things that ‘God happens’. It happened like that for Our Lady as she tried to answer questions like; Would she marry Joseph? Celebrate with a party? What about furniture? Yet in amongst the confusion of so much happening (especially at such a young age) God’s messenger appears before her and gives her the good news. Easy for us to say now, but that’s because we have seen the results.
For Our Lady, doing God’s will was her utmost concern. But at first she asks “How can this be?” In a similar way we often ask ‘how can this be?’ or ‘why me?’. Often it is a difficult struggle and seems impossible. Sometimes we feel unable; usually because we see our shortcomings and failings and fail to see what God sees in us. Yet despite those shortcomings God still chooses us and wants us to love and serve Him; (1 Corinthians 1:27-29) “... God chose ... those who by human standards are common and contemptible - indeed those who count for nothing - to reduce to nothing all those that do count for something, so that no human being might feel boastful before God.” All of the apostles were people who the ‘worldly wise’ would have considered last to be called for important tasks and yet what more important task is there than to share the Gospel and to share the love of God? True, there is still much to learn - but it is only in the journeying forward that we will continue to learn and grow.
In order that God can work in our lives in such a wonderful way, before we can accept His call, we must first listen and hear His call. It doesn’t matter how much we try to listen, in an environment surrounded with noise and clutter all we hear is the forceful, competitive sounds of the world. Even the most reputable prophets of the Old Testament found God in the quiet and still parts of their lives; 1 Kings 19:9-14 tells about Elijah’s encounter with God. If the prophets of old needed to retreat and spend time alone and in silence to hear God, how much more do we need to retreat from the world, not for ever - but for a little while, in order to encounter God in such a magnificent way. It is in these encounters with God that true and complete joy is found.
What seems daunting at first; spending time in silence - becomes what is most desired; being immersed completely in the beauty and awe of God. The first hour or two passed with ease, being blessed with a parish with regular Adoration and Benediction it was almost ‘the norm’. However, after about four to five hours of silence the urge to ‘get up and do something’ starts. Then after a further hour or so, the daunting task of remaining silent becomes blissful. The responsibilities held in the outside world become irrelevant, and once the concerns and worries about ‘other’ things have been ‘let go’ and passed to Jesus, God can do His work in us. A Psalm springs to mind that describes this feeling quite well - Psalm 63:1-8 (Jerusalem Bible - some bibles may be numbered differently).
“God you are my God, I pine for you
my heart thirst for you,
my body longs for you,
as a land parched, dreary and waterless.
Thus I have gazed on you in the sanctuary,
seeing your power and your glory ..... ”.
However, as lovely as spending time with God is, the silence has to end. Sometimes we have to do things that we don’t necessarily want to do at the time. It might be nice to sit in awe of God, ‘charging our light’ so to speak, but what is the point in charging our light if we never take it into other people’s darkness and show them the light of Christ?
Sometimes the way forward seems unlit and even ‘scary’ at times. Sometimes God calls us forward out of our ‘comfort zones’ into a place we are not keen to enter. Jonah had a similar experience: The Lord asked Jonah to go forth into Ninevah and tell them to turn from their debauchery and repent. Jonah refused the first occasion and tried to hide from God. Unfortunately for Jonah it didn’t work. God’s persistence outweighed Jonah’s and eventually after a storm and being spat out of a whale’s belly Jonah gave in to that still, small and gentle voice repeating it’s message. Jonah accepted God’s call and success - the Ninevites repented and reformed. Fair enough Jonah was a little disappointed that he didn’t get to see the fireworks and brimstone (it would have been an awesome spectacle) but the point is; eventually God’s will won - why fight it? Take the light of Christ into the tunnel of the unknown and make that difference to the lives of all you meet.
There is a children’s book I remember hearing about called ‘The Tunnel’. The basic gist of the story is that two siblings (a brother and sister) after doing what siblings do best - fighting - get sent out by their mother. Anyhow, after walking they come across this dark but enticing tunnel they had never before encountered. The brother goes in, much to his sisters regret as she is held back by her fears. When the brother fails to return after a significant amount of time the sister eventually sets aside her fears and enters the tunnel. On the other side is a dark wood filled with goblins and ghouls. Jack has been turned into stone. The sister not knowing what to do embraces her brother and as she does he returns to her life and his own life, though both have been renewed by the ordeal. When they finally find their way back through the tunnel they realise that the darkness has recreated them, strengthened them and taught them how to live ‘anew’. It is by entering into the darkness that we find light and bring light to others and in entering pain and suffering that we find wholeness, by just ‘being’ and doing what seems right that we make the world and ourselves ‘anew’. Isaiah (58:6-8) sums this up quite nicely.
God offers us ways to make a difference in people’s lives and a way to fulfil our own. Henry Ward Beecher (a US politician) once described it this way:
“God asks no man if he will accept life. That is not the choice.
You must take it. The only choice is how.”
In response and to conclude: (Isaiah 6:8) - I then heard the voice of the Lord saying: Whom shall I send? ..... And I said, ‘Here am I, send me.”
There were six Enquirers from our Diocese who attended this weekend retreat, two of whom were enquiring about the Permanent Diaconate.